Random Ramblings

First let me say that this is not a blog about food. The reason I entitled my blog Ambrosia is because Ambrosia is a very complex dish. It contains many different ingredients and I would like for my blog to be just as complex. Also I am aware that my username sounds as though it would be a French courtesan’s name, but I find it intriguing. So I decided to keep the name.

Moving on... I think that I might overanalyze everything. I don’t consider myself shy but when I am in a social environment I feel awkward. I try my best to hide that, but I am not well at doing so. Therefore it seems as though I am shy. Aside from that let me get back to the subject at hand.

For Example: At work on Monday I was about to exit through the front door when I saw a man in about his 40s approaching the same door. I immediately stop before I open the door. Why? I am not quite sure. In response he opened the door for me and waited as I walked through the entryway. I of course said thank you as I exited. As I was walking to my car I began thinking who was I for the man to open the door for me? I know that the man was probably just being nice. However I had acted as though I was his wife or girlfriend and it was expected for him to open the door for me. Also I noticed that the man did not smile when I said thank you. Therefore, I know that it must have looked as though I thought too highly of myself to do something as simple as open the door. I know that it was something so small to analyze, but I found myself doing so.

Onto another subject why does it seem that it is everyone’s obligation in life to find a significant other? It seems that every time I meet someone new the question always is brought up in everyday conversation. “Are you married?” I know that people are just trying to find an insight to my personality. However, I cannot help but to wonder why is it relevant to my personality? Whenever my answer is no the question “Why” always tends to follow. Though please do not misinterpret what I am saying. I am not aggravated with the person that asks. I know simple curiosity sometimes can be overcoming. I am merely speculating why has the topic become important in our social society?

Thinking this through I have decided that maybe it would be best for me not to get married or even try to be in a serious relationship. I do not think that I would want to devote all of my time to someone else. Would you become tired of someone you had to spend every second of every day with? Plus I have had relationships before and it always ends the same way. My friend Antoinette* once told me that one day I would get married if one of the conditions of the marriage would be that we live in separate houses.

Leading back to my previous point I think who your significant other is does not reflect your personality. For Example: There are those who are with someone that is their exact opposite. What does that say about that person? Only that they find their opposite appealing. Therefore I cannot understand why it is important.